Self-Proclaimed.

Yes, I'll happily admit that I'm a self-made photographer and graphic designer. It's something that I deeply enjoy. There are some obstacles in my way. I lost my best friend a year and one month ago, my mother. &- Now I'm just trying to find my way back.

She was my true inspiration. She was my reason to breathe, my reason to succeed.

I mean imagine a beauty birthing you. I was a foreign, living organism in her body at one point. Like, really I owe her my life. She was my meaning...

I just want to show you guys some of my shots and projects.
My portfolio is still in the making; &- I'll post along the way.

Play on Light&Shadow

Knight Rose

Some friends of mine needed some BC's.

Poster for my Universty's Lyceum

Presenting Guest Speaker

Orginial Size

11x17

xoxo

follow my growth

Who's PMS'ing?

Well, It's not me. PMS is definitely not real. It was created by men to make us seem crazy. &- Society is so bent on accomdating this monthly syndrome; that when a woman says, "I AM NOT PMS'ING!"

It makes her look even crazier. LOL, Seriously I'm not in denial. I just get really pissed off when someone tells me I'm PMS'ING when I'm NOT &- while I'm in complete and utter pain from my son of bitch ass cramps.

*shaking my head* SHEESHHH!!



Is patience still a virtue?

I'm so done; you have no idea. Love is a lot of things... but I can't find one reason why it's for me. I'm an ALL IN type of person. Most people aren't. That's All. =(

myCraft

I miss the color,
the freedom,
the words without words,
the pride,
the eccentricity,
the life that exudes
from my eyes through your lens.
my camera, my tripod, iShoot.

it's a love story... "they said if it's meant to be; when you let it go; it'll come back."

lets make love

Being in love

completely rocks!!.

^   ^

O



Good Love, bad.

Real love is a humbling experience. I know that from current experience.
Why do good girls like bad guys? Why can't bad boys stay away from the good girls? Age old question. People still ask the shit like they don't know the answer.

I've known why for some very long years now. Since I was 13 my mother use to ask me why I like these "hoodlums". LOL, I would laugh and say, "WHAT?!! He's not a hoodlum, ma. You're stereotyping." Then 16 came. She was still asking the same question. I then would say, "I don't know ma, I guess those are the only ones who can handle me."

Well, I'm older now and now my answer would be, "We balance each other out. My personality it too strong for these other dudes. I curse in every sentence, I'm flashy, the way I move is loud but I'm very quiet. I mean it's not like I wasn't born and raised in the 'hood', ma. I like what I like. The college boys were entirely too immature."

I have my turn ons and offs. And not being a manly man is the biggest turnoff. I need to feel protected. It's not like I'll only be involved with 'hoodlums' (my dating log has been very indiscriminate); there's a swag that comes with them. Being from the hood; I always said that I'm not hood. This is just my birthplace and like anyone - hometown; is in heart. I LOVE my black men. I LOVE my black swag. AND I ABSOLUTELY ADORE my black man's dang a lang. I LOVE my black man's soul, his words, his ambition, his outlook, his love.

He's not a hoodlum or a thug. He's had a misfortune of being left to the streets to raise. What you see in him that's bad; she sees in him that's worth understanding and chance. You see because she's actually seen worse. She's seen guys labeled as 'good boys' do things not easy to repeat. To her he's a fallen angel. What you see in him that's 'no good'; she sees in him as things that she knows he can improve. What you see in him as convict; she sees in him as another brother victim to selling the 'white man's poison'. What you see in her that's good; he sees in her as innocence, untainted, pure, fragile and beautiful. You see because he's never seen that before. To him it's like a dream come true.

who are we... let them be in love.
#dontjudge

to forgive or forget...

I never really been able to separate the two. Like so many other things I cant separate; my toothbrush/toothpaste, my hand/phone, my heart/mind. I have issues - some caused by others but all the same, that's something I have to deal with.

Ok, so we've found something already that I don't have a concrete answer too. I will though. I always find one. There's nothing wrong with not knowing; it's what you do next to find out.

^_^

Arguing... for what though?

"You have the ability today to finally let a certain special lover go..." Or something along those lines. That's what my horoscope read this morning. After, I had to go through a bunch of bullshit last night.

Ever been with someone who thrives off the relationship through arguing?
It's like seriously dude, grow up. Arguing is NOT the best method to communicate.

How about this; if you're going to argue with me all day and night - the next morning I shouldn't have 5 missed calls from you. Let's cut the shit. The bottom line is he/she wants you in their life, they just refuse to grow the fuck up. With that, he/she expects you to stay with them through all the immaturity. God bless them, but in their flawed little minds they don't know that immature love only works when both partners are immature. I never want to change my number. That's just the last resort sometimes.

Can he/she answer this though? Why are we arguing? I mean we can't make up because it's over. Ohhhh, EPIPHANY!! You KNOW we're over and arguing with me for you is a way to try to rekindle our past cycle. Break up to Make up. It has to be made clear... that cycle has been discarded.

where to begin...

After 1, 2, 3, 4, ... 13 consecutive unanswered texts to my recent ex boyfriend; I had an epiphany. Half of the things I say to him, I don't think he comprehends. So, why not talk to someone who does? Being told numerous of times that I "play" love like chess. Why not? I've been working through my own love drama and as of right now I have three open cases I'm working on for others. For some time now I have been miserable and most of it comes from me knowing exactly what I should do, pertaining to the relationship, but just can't do it. A feud between heart and mind. I've learned to play knight and not queen.

So, now I ask myself where to start. This blog is far from somewhere to vent. I read between the hype. The promotion of love by the media and the one individual selling you the story. I grew up in a house with a mom like you never knew. I was three when she started filling me in about sex. Birds and the bees? I still don't know how that story goes. All I got was "coochie and penis". [hahaha] Then on the flip, I was a daddy's girl. He put things to me very simply. In a way easy to understand; the "man way". Men aren't as complicated as women think they are. It's always to the point and simple, EVEN if they're playing their infamous games.

Yes, once upon a time I was a full blown tomboy. Then puberty hit. Now, I'm a sexy, young, independent woman that likes to drive motorcycles, ATVs and jet skis. I like nothing less than 20inch rims on my car. Point? I get the guy and I get the lady. When I "play chess", I understand the position of each player and work with the dynamic of each piece. I just get it and a commodity I feel I've been blessed with.

This is my task. Try to put my words into text and record my personal love/life hassles and others as I go.
Most likely tonight will be a night one of my cases of my own drama arises. Sunday's are always busy.

Signing Off As,

Teesh Shanice

Self Made Matter of the Heart sitter, Photographer & Daughter.